


Seven Days

by kryxzgaming



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 15:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14548008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kryxzgaming/pseuds/kryxzgaming
Summary: How much love can you cram into seven days, when that's just how long you have left to live?





	Seven Days

**Author's Note:**

> here's some... krii7y,,! i wrote this oneshot in like february and decided to post it here, so. ya know. i hope u enjoy it :^)
> 
> also there’s no smut in this btw . it may look like there’s going to be at one point but it is not there .

**john**

 

"How many days?" He asks, and my eyes stay trained on the floor, my heart aching in my chest. I don't want to tell him the answer, to make known the unbearable truth that my fate awaited. "John, how many days?"

I glance at him when he grabs my hand, and his brown eyes bore into mine, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as I can clearly see the concern in his features. "John, please."

"Seven," I murmur, my voice quiet- unbelievably so- as I speak the words. "Seven days until I die."

Skylar's quiet now, his gaze lowering as I watch his eyes grow shiny with tears. "You only have a week left?" He murmurs, and I nod.

"Please, Sky, please don't cry," I whisper, but it's too late, because the tears are already streaming down his face and he's already shaking and my heart's already breaking even more.

His hands quickly wrap around me in a hug, and I hug him back. He sobs into me and I fight off tears of my own, because  _I_ was the one dying. "I can't lose you," he whispers, and hearing his voice, so broken and defeated, gives me the push that I needed for my tears to come flowing out of my eyes. I curl my fingers around the back of his shirt, digging my face into his shoulder as I cry.

"I don't want to die," I sob, and he runs his fingers through my hair, trying his best to calm me although he's a mess himself. "I really fucking don't."

He's silent, with nothing to say because really, what could he possibly say? Couldn't pretend like it was alright- I'm going to die, and that's that. His fingers trace my spine, sending little waves of calm throughout my skin, and although it takes a while, I'm eventually alright again. I pull away from him, and he gazes at me, not even attempting to mask the sadness in his eyes. "John.." he takes my hand, and intertwines our fingers, and I want to cry again. Skylar- my best friend, also the boy who I have hopelessly fallen in love with- would have to say goodbye to me, in a week's time. And that's not fair to him. It really isn't. "I need to tell you something."

"W-What?" I ask, and he shifts slightly, his hair falling in front of his eyes. I lift my other hand and brush it out of the way, and our eyes meet as I do. I leave my hand idle, pausing it in the air besides his face, before I press it to his cheek. I run my thumb over his cheekbone, and soon, his hand is on the nape of my neck. My breath hitches slightly, and I'm suddenly aware of how little distance there is between us, and I wish that I was brave enough to kiss him.

But I don't need to wish any longer when he kisses me.

His lips are soft, painstakingly so, but there's a bit of an edge to them. I melt into the kiss, my heart light and airy as his fingers trace my skin. Eventually, we part, and I rest my forehead against his shoulder, the feeling of his lips still ghosting against my own. I smile a little, feeling him squeeze my hand gently.

"I love you, John," Skylar says, his voice delicate and fragile. "I've always loved you. I was just scared you didn't love me back."

"Of course I loved you back," I murmur, lifting my head so I can gaze at him. "God, Skylar, I love you so fucking much."

He pulls me against him, in a loving embrace, wrapping his hands around me gently. I wrap mine around him, breathing in his familiar, strawberry scent. I feel him press a small kiss to my cheek and my face heats up, my lips no doubt forming a smile. "Why didn't I tell you?" He whispers, sadness lacing his voice. I lift my gaze and meet his pretty eyes, and see the disappointment that rests inside of them. "Oh, John, I'm so sorry. We could have had it all, but now.. it's too late."

"It's not too late," I speak, beginning to trace his jawline with my thumb. "We have a week. A week to be in love, Skylar. Please let me have this. Let my last memories be the best I've ever fucking had."

"It's going to make it hurt even more when you're gone," he sighs, eyes glossy from resting tears. "But okay. For you."

"I'm sorry," I whisper, kissing his forehead. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Skylar murmurs. "I already forgave you."

I run my fingers through my hair, shifting slightly on my bed- the bed I had become so unfamiliar with. The past two years of my life had been spent in and out of the hospital, over and over again, until I was finally just fully admitted. Doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me for the life of me- and even today, they still have no clue what they're dealing with. My lungs develop a  _literal_  frost and I can scarcely breathe, my skin gets pale, almost blue sometimes. My eyes water and I develop a cough, a rough, rattling, and burning cough. Fevers were far too common and some days I wouldn't even be able to talk, drenched in fucking pain. I was sick of it- the constant fucking illness- so maybe it's good that it'll finally be over. The only good thing that came with this strange disease was enhanced memory- I remembered everything, to a tee. The exact details of an event never escaped my mind.

"Wouldn't it be nice," I chuckle, although it was humorless, "if I woke up perfectly fine? If I- if I got over this illness, and I went to the hospital, and they said I was fine again? And then I could- I could spend the rest of my life with you." Before I know it, I'm wrapped up in Skylar's arms, shaking as I sob. He rubs my back, pressing little kisses against my forehead every so often. "It's not fair, Skylar," I cry, my voice strained and throat beginning to hurt. "It's not fair."

"I know," He whispers, his own sadness clear in his voice. "Trust me, I know."

He holds me as I sob, as I reach the weakest I've ever felt. Even in comparison to all the pain I feel, all the pain I've felt.. nothing hurts more than this. Nothing could ever hurt more than this.

After what feels like eternities later- and in reality is only a few minutes- I finally calm down. Skylar pulls away to look at me, and he smiles, although there is pain behind it. He leans forward and kisses my forehead, "You're so pretty, Johnathan," he says, and I think my heart must have fainted, because I find that I can't breathe when he calls me by my full name. And it wasn't a bad thing, not like when I'm sick. It was good, and wonderful, and amazing- just like he was. "Even when you cry, babe, you are so fucking gorgeous."

I feel my face get hot, and I don't know what to say, my lips parting to form words but not a single syllable managing to come out. He notices, and smiles, kissing my forehead again. And then again. And then again. "I love you so much," He sighs, and I start to laugh as he keeps kissing me.

"Sky, stop," I murmur, smiling, although I'm perfectly fine with him not stopping at all. He shakes his head, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear.

"No, John," He says, his voice soft and gentle, making my insides feel like they're melting. "I don't want to stop. I'm going to make up for all we've missed, okay, beautiful?" He takes my hand, and he kisses it, and I feel my eyes tear up.

"I'm so in love with you," I whisper, and his brown orbs meet mine. I bite my lip as I observe them, how they're not dark- no, they're a diluted brown, more of a caramel color than anything. He has specks of gold in them, and right by his pupil, he has only a few streaks of green. They're the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen, and of course, they belong to the most gorgeous person in the world. "I didn't think it was possible, to care about someone this much, but apparently it is. You fucking mean the world to me, Skylar."

His cheeks are pink now, and I grin, leaning in to kiss his forehead. "You're so cute when you blush," I say, and he glances down, his cheeks gaining more and more pigment. I slide my fingers under his chin, tilting his head upwards so he has to look at me. "God, you are fucking beautiful."

Skylar leans in and kisses me, and I kiss him back, resting my hands against his neck. He runs his down my back, and soon pulls away. He kisses my forehead, and I hum, smiling a little. "I just realized, neither of us asked each other to be their boyfriend," He chuckles, and I grin.

"Skylar, will you be my boyfriend?" I ask, glancing up at him, and he nods, smiling.

"I'd be honored to be your boyfriend, Johnathan." He kisses me again, and I return the favor. When we part, he rubs my back, humming as he thinks. "Seven days, what can we cram into seven days?" He asks, and I shrug. His fingers run through my hair, and then a little giggle escapes from between his lips. "John, are you a virgin?"

"Uh.." I feel my face heat up, and I glance away, rubbing the back of my neck. "M-Maybe?"

"Me too," He chuckles, and I look at him, blinking. My eyebrows furrow a little, and I realize his face is flushed.

"Really?"

He nods.

I grin, and then kiss him. He kisses me back, and our tongues fight. His eventually wins, so I pull away, but before he can do anything, I start kissing his neck. His breath hitches, and I hum, in love with his reactions. I start to suck on his skin lightly, and he runs his hands down my back, sending shivers down my spine. Eventually, he pushes me onto my back, and straddles my lap.

I bite my lip when his lips meet my skin, and I glance at him to see his eyes a little darker than normal. He bites lightly at my neck, and I can't help but moan. He grins, and I feel my face heat up in embarrassment. He straightens, and slowly pulls my shirt off of me, leaning down to kiss me when it's finally off. His kisses soon trail down, until his lips are all over my skin, covering me in kisses and turning my pale skin various shades of purple and blue. "John?" He calls, and I hum.

"Y-Yeah?"

"I'm in love with you. All of you. And I want to prove that."

"You already have," I chuckle, and he smiles, but sits up, pulling me up with him. Skylar trails his fingers down my chest, then sighs.

"I know. But.. y'know how there's like, that difference? I mean, I don't know a whole lot about sex.. for obvious reasons.. but there's a difference between having sex, and making love?" He asks, and I nod.

"I, uh.. yeah, I think so."

"Well, I-" He pauses, his face heating up. I can tell this is hard for him to say, and I pull him closer to me, encouraging him.

"I'm listening, baby."

He sighs, and then kisses my forehead. "I want, to uh, m-make love to you." He stutters a bit, his voice awkward as he tries to convey how he feels, and I chuckle. "I- I know this is, uh, really.. like, really awkward.. but we're eighteen, and I can't think of anyone else I'd.. uh.. rather experience this.. with.. first. You, uh- you know what I mean? I don't.. I don't want to have sex, for the sake of having sex, John. I want to love you, and, um.. experience everything you have to offer, and let you love me, too. I mean.. if you want to. Oh my God, I'm sorry, this is so-"

I shush him by pressing my lips against his, and I can feel him relax. He kisses me back, and I pull away to take his shirt off of his body. I trail my lips down his skin, and his stomach curves as I brush against the sensitive parts of him. "I want this, too," I whisper, before I start to mark his gorgeous skin. "Trust me."

Skylar hums, and I soon move away, leaning up and wrapping my arms around his neck. He smiles, kissing my cheek. "I love you, John," He says, his voice unbelievably sincere, and so full of love. I shut my eyes, taking comfort in the way he holds me.

"I love you too."

 

**six days**

 

I wake up, wrapped up tightly in the softest, safest arms that had ever caressed me. Skylar's hands rub my back, and I blink my eyes open to see him gazing at me. I yawn, burying my face into his chest. "Good morning, love," I mumble, my words a little slurred as my voice is laced with sleepiness.

"Good morning, handsome," He says, and I smile, glancing up at him. He leans down, and kisses my forehead, and I sigh happily.

"You're so cozy," I murmur, cuddling closer to him, until I can hear his heartbeat. He shifts slightly, moving so he can rake his fingers through my hair. I hum against his skin, making him giggle a little. My lips form a smile, and I glance at him again. "God, you're so fucking precious," I sigh, and he blushes, shifting onto his back. He grabs me, and pulls me on top of him, making me laugh a little.

"You know what I love?" Skylar asks, and I shrug, gazing down at him. "Every damn thing about you," He says, and then kisses me. I kiss him back, sitting up and pulling him up with me. I wrap my arms around him, smiling into the kiss. He pulls away, and just stares at me. "You're flawless, baby. Good fucking God, my love, you are beautiful."

His words make me melt. Oh, how he treats me so well. It's bittersweet, the love we have. No relationship needs to be this fast-paced, by any means.. but when one boy is doomed to certain, upcoming death.. there's really no say in the matter. I sigh, kissing his forehead. "This is a love story quite unlike the rest, huh, Skylar?" I smile through the stab of pain I feel, and he nods.

"It is."

"Baby, can you promise me something?"

"It depends."

"In my closet," I speak, running my fingers through his hair, "there is a safe. In that safe, is a journal. In that journal, is a story. I want you to read that story, okay, love? When I'm not here anymore, I want you to read that story, and I want you to remember me."

Skylar bites his lip, and I can tell he's upset. "John.." He sighs, swallowing, and glancing away from me. "Okay. For you, okay."

"Promise me, Skylar."

"I promise."

I kiss his head, and he sniffles, wrapping his arms around me. "John?" He asks, and I frown as I hear his voice shake.

"Yeah, babe?"

"I don't want to lose you," He whispers, and I rub his back. "I really, really, really don't want to lose you. It's not fair." His voice breaks, and I feel my heart get dragged down, growing so heavy I fear I might break into tears. "It's not fucking fair."

"I know," I say, and he pulls away, gazing at me with tears already running down his face.

"I want to fucking do something, I want to help you, I want to go into that hospital and shake the doctors and scream. I want to scream, John, I want to yell- to tell them to do something!  _Fix my John,_ I'll tell them, and I'll shake them until they comply.  _Help him._ I'll make them figure out how to cure you. Johnathan Kyle, I cannot fucking lose you-" He's hyperventilating now, panicking, and I kiss his forehead, before pulling his head to my shoulder, trying to calm him as he sobs.

"Baby, baby," I whisper, rubbing his back. "Skylar, calm down, please. Don't get yourself too worked up, love."

His sobs hurt to hear, and I just want to him to be happy. God, I'm destroying him, and it hurts. It hurts so fucking badly. He pulls away from me, and bites his lip, a little calmer now. Skylar gazes at the cross around his neck, rubbing it between his fingers. He was rather religious growing up- his parents raised him into it- but as he grew into his teenage years, he stopped going to church. He never stopped wearing that cross, though.

I watch as he yanks, hard, and the necklace snaps. My eyes widen, and suddenly he's sobbing again, throwing the necklace at the wall. "FUCK!" He screams, and I can see a tiny dent where the necklace hit the wall. "Fuck! Fucking, God... damn it.." I hold him in my arms, and I can practically see the storm in his head. I soothe him- or try to, rubbing his back, and petting his hair, kissing his cheeks and wiping his tears.

"Breathe, my love," I say, and it takes a while for him to finally calm down. But he does, eventually, and just lays in my arms, breathing heavily, hiccuping every so often. His eyes are half-lidded, and I can tell he's exhausted.

"I'm sorry," He whispers, and picks himself up, rubbing his eyes. I pull his hands away from his face, leaning forwards to kiss him. He kisses me back, and I can taste his tears. When I pull away, he turns his head to rest his gaze on the broken necklace on the floor, and his eyes express anger- although it's calm, now. A quiet, tender rage, one that any sane person would be afraid of. "Fuck this life."

He stands up, and picks the necklace up. For a second, I think he's going to put it back on, but I am clearly wrong when he chucks it out of my open window. He runs his fingers through his hair, pacing, and I stand up, walking over to calm him before he freaks out again. "Skylar, let's take it easy today, okay?"

Skylar glances at me, his eyes red and puffy, and sighs. "I'm sorry."

"You've already apologized," I say, moving my hand to cup the side of his face, and then leaning in, pausing when we were only centimeters apart. "Don't be sorry."

We share a kiss, and when we part, I rub his hips gently. "What do you want to do today?" I ask, and he shrugs. "Well, what's a date you've always, always wanted to go on?"

"I mean.. I've always wanted to go to an aquarium," He says, blushing a little, and I smile, kissing his forehead.

"Then we're going to an aquarium."

 

•

 

"Look at that!" Skylar practically squeals, gently swatting my arm, tugging on my sleeve and pointing. I blink, following where his finger was pointing with my eyes, smiling when I see a dolphin. He giddily leans against the glass, and it's like he's a child again, so enthralled by the animals on the other side of it. As the dolphin swims by, more follow it, and one of them pauses. He gasps as it turns, staring at him. I pull my phone out, and quickly start recording.

The dolphin and him are pretty much having a staring contest. Skylar loses when the dolphin twirls itself. He breaks out into a grin and throws his arms up into the air, cheering. The dolphin swims away, and he turns, looking at me. "Did you see that!?" He asks, excitement in his voice, and I laugh, nodding.

"I got it on video," I say, showing it to him. As he watches it, he grows even more excited.

"We had something there!" Skylar cheers, and engulfs me in a hug. "I'm a dolphin whisperer!"

I laugh, hugging him back, tilting my own head down to kiss the top of his. "Man, I've got the coolest boyfriend ever. How many people can say the love of their life can talk to dolphins?"

"Probably not a lot," He giggles, pulling away from me. He grabs my hand, and intertwines our fingers, and I smile as he starts dragging me off to the next exhibit.

As we're walking, I can see the shark exhibit out of the corner of my eyes. I pause for a moment, wanting to head over there, but quickly pick my pace up again. This is Skylar's day, and I'll be damned if he isn't going to enjoy it. When I glance at him, I frown, because I can tell he noticed. "Sharks?" He asks, and before I can say anything, we're heading over.

The exhibit is a dome- we're completely surrounded by glass, apart from the entrance. Some man is talking to a group of kids, explaining that sharks live in the environment in the glass behind him. A collective gasp is heard, and I chuckle. We pause a few feet away from the group, and I scan my eyes over the glass, hoping I'll see something. Even a little shark would be nice.

"The sharks are hard to see, they don't head over to this section very often, so you might not be able to see one today," The man is saying, and I frown a little. Skylar squeezes my hand, and presses a kiss to my cheek.

"If we don't see one, we can always head back here before we leave, alright?" He says, and I shake my head.

"No, it's fine. This is your dream date, I really don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do." I murmur, and he rolls his eyes.

"John, you dumbass, I'm here  _with_ you, aren't I?" He asks, and I nod. "You're meant to enjoy this as much as me, babe. This isn't just for me, this is for us."

"But.. why see sharks when we can see something you want to see?" I ask, and he sighs, flicking my forehead.

"Because if seeing the sharks will make you happy, then I want you to see the sharks." He leans forward and kisses my forehead, and I sigh. " _Us,_ John. You and me."

Skylar wraps his arms around me and I rest against him, watching the glass. Nothing happens for a while, so I shrug. "Okay, well.. we can come back later, I guess." I try to hide the disappointment in my voice, and start to walk away. He quickly stops me.

"Babe, look!" He tugs my sleeve and I turn around, my eyes widening when I see a Blacktip Reef shark.

"Whoah," I breathe, stepping closer to the glass. The shark's tail smacks against the glass as it swims by, and it's close enough that I can see the scars that litter it's body. I watch as it starts swimming in circles, around the dome, and I turn my body and follow it with my eyes. After maybe three laps, it stops, and the man taps my shoulder.

"You know why he's doing that?" He asks, and I shake my head. "That's Ronnie, by the way."

"Isn't that.. like, a prey thing?" I ask, my eyes landing on Ronnie again, and the guy chuckles.

"Sometimes, but not always. Often when a shark circles something, it's just trying to figure out what it's dealing with. Ronnie here hasn't figured out what this room is yet," He explains, and I nod, humming in thought. I can feel Skylar walk up next to me, and when I glance at him, he's gazing at me with a smile. I blush, and glance away, looking at the dope ass shark on the other side of the glass once more.

"Can he see us?" I ask, glancing at the worker, and he tilts his head.

"Well, yes," He says, pushing his glasses up his nose. "But not always. Like, if Ronnie were to swim up- right here," He points to the glass that's directly in front of me, "he wouldn't be able to. He's got a blind spot-"

"In front of his nose?" I cut him off. "Sorry. But is that why you're supposed to hit their nose in the chance they attack you? Which, is like, also incredibly rare, right?"

"Yeah," He chuckles, and as I look at the glass again, I can see Ronnie swimming off. The worker starts talking to a parent who approaches him, discussing something about how sharks were  _so_ dangerous. Yeah right, lady.

Skylar kisses my cheek, and I glance over at him. "You know what you're talking about, huh?"

I blush, chuckling a little. "No, not really. I just like sharks," I say, looking at Ronnie once more, who is now barely visible. "I like reading about them. They're cool. People are afraid of them for no reason."

"Can you tell me what kind of shark Ronnie is?" He asks, and I nod.

"He's a Blacktip Reef shark," I say, and he grins.

"I have a nerd boyfriend who's obsessed with sharks. Cool." He kisses my forehead, and I feel my face heat up. "Anyways, you feeling hungry, yet? We should go get some food."

I nod, and grab his hand, intertwining our fingers. He starts to swing our hands, and I laugh a little, leaning over a bit to kiss his cheek. We start to walk off, hand-in-hand, and happy.

Happy.

Finally happy.

 

•

 

"Shh, baby, I've got you," Skylar hums as I shake in his arms, groaning as another wave of pain washes over me. "It's been ten minutes, love, it should be over soon."

I sniffle, coughing into my arm. He rubs my back, rocking me a little. I shut my eyes, biting my lip to stifle a moan of pain. "Stupid f-fucking disease," I whimper, and then calm a little when I feel him press a kiss to my forehead.

"The meds should kick in soon. I've got you, love, everything's alright." I sit up a bit, opening my eyes, and he gazes at me, sadness in his expression. I rest my head against his shoulder, and he kisses my cheek. "I'm sorry you're hurting, John. I'd take it away if I could. I'd take it all away."

"I know," I sigh, clutching weakly at the back of his shirt as another, stronger wave of pain racks my form. He holds his hand out to me, and I take it, squeezing it hard. "S-Sorry," I say, and he shakes his head.

"It's alright, babe, you can do that whenever you need to. I'm fine." Skylar smiles, and I nod. A few more waves pass before I can finally feel my headache start to subside. He comforts me the whole time it happens, and when I finally pull away, he pulls me back in. He kisses me, our lips meeting gently. It's a soft kiss- it's full of love, and I swear I can hear him trying to tell me how much he loves me. And I try to tell him how much I love him back.

Not a word is spoken, and yet we are both unbelievably aware of the other, of our love, and of our future.

Our hopeless future.

 

**five days**

 

"Ready for takeoff!" Skylar yells as I cling to his back. He starts running, and I laugh, clutching his shirt.

"Skylar please don't fall! Oh my God, oh my God!" He ducks underneath a ladder and I snort as he almost trips. "Babe!"

"No worries!" He laughs, and stops next to a slide, pausing and taking a breath. I jump off of his back, and then grin. I gently poke his arm, and then take off running.

"Tag! You're it!"

"Hey, you fucking little shit! Get back here!" I can hear Skylar running behind me, and I laugh, increasing my speed. Probably wasn't the best idea, considering my lungs were in terrible condition, but I can't be bothered to give a shit. I jump onto a platform, and then off of it, as I hear Skylar land on it behind me. "Fuck! I almost had you!"

"You're just too slow, bitch!" I tease him, and when he's suddenly in front of me, having jumped from the left, I quickly turn and run. "Try harder, dummy!"

I climb a few steps and then send myself down a slide. Suddenly, I see Skylar at the bottom, and I've reached the end before I know it. He pulls me up and scoops me up in his arms, engulfing me in a hug, and I giggle, hugging him back. "I got you, baby," He says, kissing my head. I blush, and pull away from him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I hope you're not expecting a prize," I murmur, and his eyes twinkle as they scrunch up a little, his smile growing.

"I already won your heart, I don't need anything other than that." Skylar murmurs, taking my hand and kissing the top of it. I feel my face heat up, but I pull him into a kiss.

"Fuck you for being so charming," I huff, and he laughs.

"I'm your charming knight in shining armor, right?"

"More like my charming knight who has far too many shoes," I murmur, and he narrows his eyes at me.

"Says the boy who has a million pair of boots." He shoots back, and I chuckle.

"At least my boots are cool. You have, like, seventy-five pairs of the same shoes, just in different colors."

"Oof, too literal," Skylar shakes his head, and grabs my hand. He intertwines our fingers, and we walk along the trail together, swinging our hands a little. We pause beside a short, twisty slide, and he pulls a marker out of his pocket. He hands it to me, and smiles.

I uncap it, then bend down to write on the slide. I hum a little as I gaze at it, then finally decide what I'll write.  
  


**SEVEN DAYS OF LOVE**  
**founded by**  
**SKYLAR REED x JOHNATHAN KYLE**  
**quite a**  
**LOVE STORY**  
**unlike**  
**THE REST.**

 

"I like it," Skylar says, and I cap the marker, handing it back to him. He kisses me, and I kiss him back. "But I like you more," He smiles when we part, and I grin, kissing his cheek.

"Not as much as I like you."

We start walking again, and I move away to cough into my arm. He pulls me back, closer to him, and I sigh. "You feeling alright?" He asks, and I shrug.

"I'm never really feeling alright," I say, and then smile. "Except for when I'm with you." I squeeze his hand, and he blushes.

"Seriously, though, baby, how are you feeling? We can head to your place, love, just watch a few movies?" He asks, and as I break into a coughing fit, he rubs my back. "Okay, well, that settles it, then. We're going to head home, and cuddle, and watch movies, okay? It'll be a lazy day, but that's okay."

I don't bother arguing when I calm down. Instead, I simply take his hand again, and we begin to walk away, out of the park. Once I'm past the fence, I pause, turning to gaze at it. "This might be the last time I ever see this park, Skylar," I say, and he runs his thumb over the top of my hand.

A wave of sadness washes over me, as I met Skylar here. Second grade. I remember it like it was yesterday. "We met here," He says, and I nod.

"I was just thinking that."

"I remember when you walked over to me," He giggles, and my heart flutters. "You had a pissed off look, at eight years old, and I knew then and there that we'd be friends forever."

_"Who hurt you?" I murmured, tilting my head. I saw those mean boys hurting this poor kid._

_"T-Them," He shook, and pointed to a group of boys in the opposite direction._

_"I'll beat them up!" I yelled, starting to make my way over to them, but being stopped by his hand. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him, shaking his head._

_"I don't want them to hurt you, too," He said, and I frowned, glancing at his knee, which was bleeding._

_"Your knee is bleeding. Huh. I'm John, who are you?" I tilted my head, and he poked his knee, flinching almost immediately after._

_"I'm Skylar." He said._

_"Cool. Does it hurt?"_

_"Yeah. I just learned that I shouldn't touch it anymore. It hurt when I did." Skylar frowned. "Can you come to the nurse's room thingy with me? I have to go past the boys and I don't want them to hurt me again."_

_"Duh, stupid." I held my hand out, and he took it. I pulled him up, and when he walked, he hissed. "Your knee, dummy. Here, I'll help." I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and he frowned at me._

_"You just said two bad words." Skylar narrowed his eyes, and I laughed._

_"Wanna hear an even worse one?"_

_"I don't know.. my momma says I shouldn't hang out with people who curse. She calls them sinners. I don't know what that means."_

_"I don't know either," I said, and he pointed at the cross on his necklace._

_"She says this Jesus dude doesn't like you if you're a sinner."_

_"Oh. I think I've heard of Jesus once or twice." I shrugged, and he hummed._

_"Cool."_

_"So, wanna hear the word?"_

_"I don't have to say it, right?"_

_"Did I freaking ask you to, nerd?"_

_"I'm not a nerd."_

_"You're wearing glasses. You're a nerd."_

_"You're meaner than the guys who beat me up."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"It's okay."_

_"So can I please say the word?" We were inside the building now, and were walking to the room that the nurse had all their stuff in. The nurse was in that room, too. Usually._

_"Fine."_

_"Fuck."_

_Skylar gasped. "You can't say that!"_

_"But I did. Fuck!" I said it again, and he was quiet, before he started laughing._

_"If anyone heard you say that.."_

_"I'd get in big trouble, I know. Don't tell anybody!"_

_"I won't."_

_"Promise?"_

_"Promise."_

"Hey, Sky?" I glance over at him, and his eyes are teary. He sniffles, glancing at me.

"What?"

I lean forward, wiping his eyes when the tears fall down his face. "Guess what?"

"What?" He says again, and I chuckle, kissing his nose.

"Fuck."

He giggles, and wraps his arms around me, sniffling. "You can't say that."

"But I did." I murmur, and I can feel my eyes tear up as he kisses the side of my head. "Fuck," I whisper, and I can see tears running down his cheeks, out of the corner of my eyes.

"I-If anyone heard you say that," He stuttered, clenching the back of my shirt. I shut my eyes,

"I'd get in big trouble, I know. Don't tell anybody," I can't help but cry now, and we hold each other as we sob.

"I won't," He whispers into my ear, his voice breathy.

"Promise?" I pull away, and look into his eyes, which are glossy due to his tears. He cups my face in his hands, and leans in, stopping when our lips brush against each other.

"Promise."

And he kisses me, and I kiss him back.

And it hurts.

Skylar kept that promise that day.

There's not a promise he hasn't kept.

 

**four days**

 

"I can't see," I laugh, and Skylar chuckles. He nudges me forward, and I take tentative steps. I keep my eyes closed shut, a little scared that I'd trip and fall on my ass.

"Well, duh," He says, and I feel him kiss my cheek. "Your eyes are closed."

"Wow," I gasp. "I had no fucking idea!"

"Really? That's weird," He speaks, and I can hear the smile in his voice. "I'm such a good boyfriend, pointing these things out to you."

"More than a good boyfriend," I murmur, and he soon stops, putting his hands over my eyes. "The bestest."

"Well, I better be after this," Skylar murmurs, and he soon takes his hands off of my eyes. "You can open them now."

I open my eyes, and gasp as I see the sight in front of me.

It's a beach.

The sand is white, and there are only a few people on the beach, but they are far away from where Skylar and I stand. The water is blue, magnificently blue, almost as blue as the sky. Seagulls fly overhead and the lapping of the water against the shore is soothing. "It's gorgeous," I murmur, a smile on my lips. I turn to Skylar, "Almost as gorgeous as you."

A scarlet dust forms on his cheeks and he smiles, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I know you said you wanted to see the beach one last time," He murmurs, kissing my forehead. "So I wanted to make sure the last beach you saw was the prettiest I could find."

"Thank you, baby," I smile, kissing him. He kisses me back, and when we separate, I take his hand, walking onto the sand with him. We walk to the shore, and step into the water. I scrunch my nose up a bit, because it's a little chilly, but the longer I stay in it, the nicer it is.

"You are so pretty, love," Skylar murmurs, and I glance at him. The wind tosses the wavy strands of hair on the top of his head a bit, and his eyes are squinted slightly, due to the sun being in his face. "You're honestly breathtaking." He grabs the chain around his neck, which he had bought yesterday, and attached nothing to it. "I'm not sure about any higher being anymore," He whispers, pulling me close to him, "but Johnathan Kyle, you must be some sort of God."

My face is hot now, and I kiss him again. Our tongues dance to a rhythm neither of us can hear, and our fingers intertwine. When our lips aren't together anymore, Skylar puts his hands on my hips, swaying us a bit. I chuckle, and wrap mine around his neck. The waves slosh gently at our feet as we dance, and I rest my head against his chest, shutting my eyes for a few moments.

"A love story quite unlike the rest, huh, baby?" I ask, smiling as he takes my hand to twirl me. I rest against him when I'm close enough to again, and he takes my hand, kissing it before intertwining our fingers.

"Indeed," He says, and we walk out of the water, sitting on the sand. He pulls me against him, and I rest my head in his lap, smiling as he combs his fingers through my hair.

"Look at the sky," I say, smiling as I observe it. The sun is setting now, and the sky has turned into lovely shades of various colors. The clouds are pink, and near the horizon, the sky is purple. Just beyond it, it is orange.

"It's beautiful," Skylar murmurs, and I nod in agreement.

"Skylar?"

"Yes, John?"

"I think I want to be cremated."

"Why?"

"I don't like the idea of me being left to rot in the ground," I say, glancing up at him. "And I'd like my ashes spread, eventually. One day when you think you can finally do it, I'd like you to spread them in the forest behind the park. I can rest easy, at one with the Earth, y'know?"

He bites his lip, and kisses my forehead. "Okay," He murmurs, and I smile.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me."

The both of us are silent now, laying comfortably. He goes back to playing with my hair, and I sigh, leaning into his touch as I shut my eyes. I can hear him chuckle, and then feel him kiss my forehead. I open my eyes again, and he's gazing at me, a smile on his lips. "Gosh, you're a cutie," I say, and he rolls his eyes, blushing.

I sit up, and then stand up, brushing the sand off of me. I hold a hand out, and Skylar takes it. I help him up, and then intertwine our fingers. We walk to the shore, and then begin to just walk along it, swinging our hands between us as we talk.

"Four days," I say, and he sighs.

"Can we not talk about it?" Skylar asks, and I frown.

"Then when, Skylar?"

"I never want to."

"Well, we're going to have to," I say, and stop, turning to face him, "because like it or not, I'm going to die in four days."

"There's got to be some way to prevent this," He says, shaking his head and staring at his feet. "We can't just let it happen. John, why aren't you fighting?"

"Because what is there to do, Skylar?" I sigh, walking forward and resting my hands on his shoulders, stopping him from the pacing he had begun to do. "The doctors have tried everything."

"Obviously not everything," He frowns, and I pull him against me, rubbing his back. "There's gotta be something, John. There has to be."

"Maybe when I die," I say, kissing his head, "they'll figure out what that is. And then they can help other people who might get this, to stop them from dying, too."

"But that's not fair." He shakes his head, pulling away from me. "Why do they get to live, John? And not you? You are the most flawless fucking human being I have ever met. Why you?"

"I wish I could tell you why," I murmur, and his gaze rests on the ground. He tucks his hands into his pockets, and then kicks at the sand, sending it flying. I sigh as I watch him, trying my best to get a glance at his eyes. When I do, I can see the battle- the sadness, the anger, the loss, the fear.

"It's not fair!" Skylar's yelling now, and I can tell he's going to break soon. I wish he would calm down, but I can't blame him, because I want to scream as badly as he does. It isn't fair, it isn't fair at all. But it's the way it is, and I'd rather spend the rest of my days happy, than complaining about something I have no control over.

I feel a headache coming on, and I frown as my gaze never leaves Skylar. He picks up a rock, and hurls it into the ocean, tears streaming down his face as screams leave his mouth. "Fuck! Fuck this shit! Fuck this world! Fuck everything!"

I would try to stop him, but I know I shouldn't. He needs to let this out. It's unhealthy if I don't let him deal with the way he feels. As long as he doesn't hurt himself, I'll just watch, quietly, with a frown on my face.

He picks up rock after rock, each and every one of them going further than the last. When he bends down to pick up another one, he falls onto his knees, and I quickly rush over. I hold him in my arms as he sobs, shaking viciously. "I'm here," I say, giving him kiss after kiss. "I'm here, baby."

"But you won't be here in four days," Skylar sobs, his voice hoarse. "I won't be able to feel your lips against mine anymore. I won't be able to tell you how much I love you. I won't be able to hear you say good morning to me, or goodnight. You won't be there for me to fall asleep next to. You won't be there for me to cuddle with. You can't be my boyfriend when you're dead, John. You can't even be my best friend."

I can't find anything to say to that, because there's nothing  _to_ say. He's right. He's absolutely right.

And that's so fucked up.

"I'm a shell of whoever I am without you, Johnathan," He sniffles, and then coughs into his arm, struggling to breathe. I rub his back, patting it a bit, and he calms slightly. "You shaped me. You're my love. What am I supposed to do when the most important part of my life just suddenly isn't there anymore?"

"I'll still be here," I say, kissing his cheek. "You'll have so many things to remember me by. Videos, and pictures, and texts, and memories."

"I don't want any of that if I can't have you!" He yells, and almost immediately starts sobbing again. "Fuck, John, it's not the fucking same!"

"Calm down, Skylar, please. I don't want to fight," I sigh, and he buries his face into my chest.

"I'm sorry," He whispers, sniffling. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry," I speak, kissing the top of his head. "Please don't be sorry."

"But-"

"There's not a damn thing you should be apologizing for, Skylar Reed," I say, and gently pull him off of me, to look him in the eyes. "You have every right to be feeling the way you do. I understand. I'm glad you're getting it out. I just want you to be okay, love, and it's obvious you aren't. Neither of us are."

My heart hurts as I stare at him, because I can only imagine how he feels, days away from losing the boy he loves. I want nothing more than to wake up on the last day, and get a call saying that it's all wrong, that I won't die then. But I know the reality of the situation, and that is certainly not it.

"I've never been so angry, and sad before," Skylar murmurs, and he takes my hands, intertwining our fingers. "But you make me so happy. John, can you promise me something?"

"Sure, love."

"If there's anything after death, anything that means I can see you again.. will you figure it out? Please? Or will you wait for me? Wait for the day that I die?" He's desperate, craving for an answer, craving for the slightest bit of closure, something he can rely on until the day his life is over.

"I promise," I say, and lean forward, kissing his nose. He sighs, and glances down at our hands.

"I love you, angel," He says, and I tilt my head a bit at the new name. I smile anyways,

"I love you too, baby."

I definitely do love him.

Probably a little too much.

 

**three days**

 

Skylar groans, shutting his eyes. "Explain what it feels like, again?"

"It feels like someone's taking a potato peeler and is scraping away at everything in my body," He whimpers, and I feel his forehead. It's incredibly hot. "John, I've never felt like such shit before."

"I think we should go to the hospital," I say, and he shakes his head.

"I'm-" He breaks into a coughing fit, and I sigh.

"You're not fine. We're going, and that's that." I help him out of the bed, and he can barely even walk. I wrap my arms around him, and he leans against me, taking quick, short breaths.

"I'll be fine, with some sleep.. probably. And then we can cuddle for the rest of the day. I can't let this time with you be wasted. Can't go to the hospital when time is running out." His words are slurred, and as we walked, he stumbles. I sigh, and then pick him up, carrying him bridal style. He slings his arms around my neck and shoulders, and rests his head against me, groaning.

"Skylar, you are very obviously not okay. We need to find out why, and what's wrong, exactly, and how to fix it." I carry him to my car, and put him in the passenger seat, buckling him up because he can barely lift his hands to do it himself. If I was being honest, his current state reminds me of how I was, when I first got the disease. It wasn't contagious, though, so that was out of the question.

I get in my seat, and start the car, driving off. He groans, and weakly fumbles around with his hand. I grab it, and intertwine our fingers. He hums, and when I glance at him again, he's asleep. Oh, my poor boy.

 

•

 

We end up going to see my doctor, because I notify him of the situation and he offers to take Skylar in, knowing how busy the hospital that we were planning on heading to can be sometimes. Currently, we sit in the waiting room, Skylar curled up on my lap. "I'm sorry I ruined this day," He murmurs, and I shake my head, kissing his nose.

"You didn't ruin the day, baby," I say, running my fingers through some of his hair. "We still got to spend time together, right?"

"I guess," He sighs, and rests his head on my chest. "I still feel like shit. Literally everything hurts. Bleh."

"Does talking hurt?" I ask, running my eyes over him, and frowning when I realize how pale he's gotten. Whatever he had, it was bad.

"Yeah," Skylar murmurs, and I chuckle.

"Then stop talking."

"I don't want to stop talking when it's you I'm talking to."

I open my mouth to argue, but shut it when I see my doctor walk over. "Hi, Doctor Thompson," I say, and he nods. His gaze seems worried, and I get a little scared because of it.

"You two can come back into the room, now," He says, and I nod. Skylar stands, and I stand up afterward, wrapping my arm around his waist to keep him steady. We slowly make our way over to the room we were previously in, and Skylar sits on the bed, while I stand in the corner, tapping my fingers nervously.

Dr. Thompson walks in and sits down, running his fingers through his hair and letting out a sigh. "So, with the tests that we've run.. we have reached a conclusion that nobody thought was possible."

"What does that mean?" I ask, and he glances at me.

"I'm afraid Skylar has Pnuemoverglas."

The room grows quiet, and I feel sick. "I'm sorry, what?"

"We're not sure how," He shakes his head, "but Skylar definitely has your disease, Johnathan."

I look at Skylar, and he's frowning, staring at his hands. And these past few days, I have felt incredible. I never wanted to feel angry again before I died.

But I'm fucking pissed.

"He- he has it!? You said that wasn't fucking possible!" My voice raises, and Dr. Thompson frowns.

"John, I understand how you may be feeling-"

"No, Doctor, you fucking don't. You have  _no_ idea what it's like, when you're three days away from dying, and then get told that your boyfriend has the disease that's going to take your own life." I'm shouting now, and the edges of my vision are white. "The disease that my doctors told me, over and over again, wasn'tFUCKING contagious!"

My head pounds, and I clench my fists, trying to calm myself a bit.

"Obviously, we didn't have enough information to realize it was contagious." He says, and I roll my eyes.

"Obviously!" I huff. "Dr. Thompson, you better tell me right now that you've figured out how to cure this fucking disease, because there is  _no_ way he's going to go through what I went through. No way. Do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME!?"

A hand on my shoulder diverts my attention from the doctor in front of me, and Skylar pulls me into his arms. "Calm down, John. I'm here."

And his words bring me to tears.

I sob into him, and Dr. Thompson has the courtesy to leave the room. He rubs my back, and kisses me everywhere, trying to tell me it's alright. But it's not.

"I'm so sorry," I sob, and he shakes his head as I pull away from him. "I'm so fucking sorry. This is all my fault. Oh my God, I'm so sorry, baby."

"It's not your fault, angel," He says, wiping the tears off of my face. "Please don't apologize for something you had no control over."

I sniffle, and he kisses my forehead. "I can't believe you have it," I say, and he shrugs.

"It is what it is, right?"

"But it's not fair," I whisper, and he smiles.

"Nothing is fair, babe."

He kisses me, and I return the favor. After we part, I sit down, and pull him onto my lap. "You feeling any better, yet? At all?"

Skylar shrugs, resting his head on my chest. "A little bit, I guess."

"That's good."

There's a knock on the door, and Skylar yells for them to come in. Dr. Thompson walks in, quietly shutting the door. "John, I need to ask you a question, before we discuss what we can do with Skylar."

"Yeah?" I murmur, glancing over at him.

"When you pass, we'd like to use your body, for uh, further research. We'd test day in and day out, for three days, and after that, your body won't really have anything left alive in it. If we can do this, we might be able to figure some things out, which might lead to a cure. Obviously, we need your permission, though."

"Go ahead," I shrugged. "I don't care. If it means I can help.. then of course."

He nods, and sits down. As he begins to explain to Skylar what the disease really is, I begin to zone out, anxious thoughts swirling through my mind.  


•  


"Ginger Ale and cream of chicken soup," I murmur, handing both things to Skylar. "Drink the ginger ale really slowly- the carbonation might hurt your throat. Normal soup that isn't creamy always bothered my stomach whenever I was having a really bad fit, but it might be different with you. We can try it out anyways, and if it is different, you've got time to figure out what works." I sit down next to him as he stirs his soup a little, then takes a spoonful of it. I kiss his cheek, and turn the TV on.

Skylar puts his stuff down on the nightstand beside him and shifts, then grabs the covers and throws them over me. He takes my arm and wraps it around himself, then picks his dinner up again and goes back to eating. I chuckle, pulling him against my chest as I flip through the shows. "SpongeBob!" He cheers through his food, and I laugh, then hit play.

We watch the episode, the both of us laughing harder than we should be when the funny moments happen. After a while, Skylar finishes his food, and cuddles up against me, resting his head on my chest. I run my fingers through his hair, and he grabs my other hand, intertwining our fingers. He rubs the top of my hand with his thumb, and I yawn, then frown as I feel a wave of pain wash over me.

Trying to get past the pain, I shift a little, and he glances up at me. His eyes meet mine, and he frowns. I must be missing something, because one look, and he knows exactly what's wrong. He sits up, and grabs his Ginger Ale, then hands it to me. I sip it, handing it to him when I was done. He placed it down, and then grabbed the remote, shutting the TV off.

Skylar laid down, and then pulled me down next to him. I sighed, wrapping my arms around him as he did the same to me. He rested his head against my chest, and I rested my chin on the top of his head. "This has been an eventful day, huh?" He murmurs, and I can feel his breath through my thin shirt.

"Yeah," I sigh, shutting my eyes. I feel him shift a little, and then I feel his lips press a kiss against my cheek. I smile, and pull him closer against me.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," He murmurs, and I can't help but groan when another wave of pain washes over me. His hand finds mine, and he squeezes it gently. "I mean, without both of us suffering, preferably, but if we had to suffer to spend the rest of forever together like this.. I'd be fine with that."

Skylar curls up a little, which I've already realized is a sign he's in pain. I squeeze his hand, and open my eyes to kiss his forehead. "Me too," I murmur, sighing.

"We're some broken fucking boys, huh?" He chuckles, and I smile.

"Yeah."

He soon opens his eyes, and kisses me. I kiss him back, and then shut my eyes again once we part, the feeling of his lips still there. "I'm tired, Johnny," He sighs, and I yawn.

"Same."

"Let's get some sleep, then. Hopefully we can do something a little more exciting tomorrow."

"As long as I spend my day with you, I don't care."

"Of course. I love you. Goodnight, angel."

"I love you too. Goodnight, Sky."

 

**two days**

 

"Tell me what happened, baby, it's alright." I hold Skylar as he sobs, his body shaking. "It was just a dream."

"I can't remember," He whispers, and I run my fingers through my hair. "I just remember it being so dark. And I was so cold. I was just fucking terrified. And I woke up feeling even worse, even more scared. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. It was so scary."

"I'm sorry, baby," I sigh, then kiss his forehead. "But you're alright now. I'm here, okay? I'm never going to let anything bad happen to you."

He sniffles, and pulls away from me, rubbing his eyes. He glances at the window, which has bright sunlight pouring through it. He soon rolls off of me, coughing a bit into his arm.

I slide out of bed, and pick him up. Skylar wraps his arms around my neck, and his legs around my waist. I smile, carrying him downstairs. I open the front door, and then shut it behind me. I walk into the front yard, blinking a little as I felt the grass against my bare feet. I soon sit down, and Skylar sits beside me.

"Would you like to explain to me why we're out here?" He asks, and I shrug.

"It's a nice day," I murmur, glancing at him. The breeze tosses my hair a bit, and I run my fingers through it, stretching afterwards. He nods,

"I suppose it is."

I lay down, stretching my arms out on the soft grass. Skylar gazes at me for a few moments, before he lays down, too. I roll onto my side, and rest my head on his chest. "Remember when the world wasn't so scary?" I ask, sighing as he begins to run his finger through my hair.

"Yeah. I remember the entire year of third grade, whenever I woke up, my biggest concern was whether or not I'd be seeing you. Y'know, because you were  _sick_ so often." He makes air quotes with his right hand, the one he isn't using, as he murmurs the word  _sick._ I chuckle,

"It is not my fault I hated school. I was absolutely ready to be a third grade dropout." I say, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "And you can't even say anything, because we both know damn well that if I had asked you to run away with me, you would've said yes."

"Yeah, 'cause I was nine and didn't want to lose my best friend," Skylar defends himself, and I smile.

"I'm still really tired," I murmur, yawning again. "Babe, what time is it?"

"You hauled us out of bed at seven in the morning," He murmurs, and I shift as he stands up. I yawn again, and he sighs, then pulls me up. We walk back inside, and he shuts the door. I fall to the couch with a quiet huff. "No no no, bed, not couch."

"But the couch is comfy," I whine, and he raises an eyebrow at me.

"Fine," I sigh, and stand up. He smiles, and takes my hand, leading us off to the bedroom. This entire week, he had slept over at my place, and he was finally used to where everything was. He opens the door, and I collapse on the bed. He closes the door, laughing a little. He closes the blinds, so it's darker in the room, and then climbs into bed besides me.

"You're cute," Skylar says, poking my nose, and I giggle as I gaze at him. I definitely hadn't gotten enough sleep.

"What do you think about space?" I ask, and he tilts his head. I kiss his forehead, and repeat the question. "What do you think about space?"

"I mean, it's cool," He nods, and I hum my agreement.

"I think it's awesome," I say, and rest my head against his chest, snuggling as close to him as I possibly can. He kisses my cheek, humming as he tightens the blankets around us. "Like, there's so much we don't know about it, y'know? I wish I could stay around to witness more space exploration. I'm sure we'll meet aliens some day, I just wanted to be here for it."

"Aliens, hm?" He asks, and I nod. "Yeah, I don't think anyone in this lifetime will ever see the day we meet aliens. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it'll probably take another century at least, y'feel me?"

"Yeah, I get it. Technology is advanced right now, but not as advanced as it could be," I say, and I grab his hand, then intertwine our fingers, holding them up in the air. "I hope we see each other again. In another life, I mean. After I die, y'know?"

"Me too," He whispers, and squeezes my hand. "John, can you do me a favor?"

"It depends," I say, glancing at him, and he smiles.

"I just want you to write something down on a piece of paper for me," He says. "Later, obviously, but I want to get a tattoo of it."

"Jesus, Sky, that's a big commitment," I tilt my head a little, and he squeezes my hand again.

"It's nothing compared to the love I have for you," Skylar sighs, and I grin, then kiss him. He kisses me back, giggling in the midst of it. When we separate, he glances at our hands. "Winners?"

"Well, I might be dying right now," I say, kissing his chin, "but I won the second I fell in love with you."

He smiles as he looks down at me, and then sighs, glancing up at the ceiling again. He tilts his head to the left, and coughs a bit. I squeeze his hand, and after a few moments, he's fine again. He looks at me, "Do you ever wonder where we could be?"

"All the fucking time," I murmur, a sigh escaping from between my parted lips shortly after. "If I was never sick.. we would have been able to live a normal life, Sky. We could've fallen in love, and started dating, and taken our sweet time, and enjoyed each other.. instead of having to cram a lifetime of love in the space of seven days."

"But then our love story wouldn't be unlike the rest, John," He says, and I glance up at the ceiling, before my gaze rests on our hands again.

"But maybe then we'd have a love story worth telling," I whisper, and he kisses my cheek.

"We already do."

"Our love story's broken, Skylar. It's sick."

"So are we, Johnathan."

I sit up, and he sits up with me. He pulls me into his chest, and starts running his fingers through my hair. I shut my eyes, sighing. Listening to his heartbeat calms me.

"One day, hundreds of years ago, there was a knight." Skylar murmurs, and I run my thumb over the top of his hand. "The knight was strong, and fearless, and loved by everyone. What they didn't know, was that he was hurt. On the inside, he was battling his mind." I open my eyes and gaze at the bedroom surrounding me, and as he speaks, I can see it perfectly. A knight, surrounded by love, and when he's left alone, he's terrified.

"There was one person who knew about the knight's problem," He says. "And that was the prince. The prince was a rebel. He always did silly things that would get him in trouble, but it was worth it, he always insisted. The knight tried to prevent him from doing anything too stupid, but when the prince had his mind set on something, he had his mind  _set._ For example, one day the prince called his tutor a retard, despite the knight yelling at him not do to that." A giggle left my mouth as I remembered when I did that. I got suspended for like, three days. It wasn't my fault my teacher was an idiot.

"So the knight and the prince are best friends, right?" I nod, glancing at him. "Well, both of them started to think.. what if he's more than that? What if I love him? And that was a scary thought, because.. that wasn't really allowed back then, y'know? But one day, when the prince is locked away in his room, trying to recuperate from a sickness he had.. the knight can't help but kiss him. And the prince kisses him back. And they realize they're in love.

Now we've got a knight and a prince, scared out of their wits, because of the love they have for one another. Y'know what they do?"

"What?" I ask, and he chuckles.

"They say fuck it, and they start dating. They keep it hush-hush for a while, but one day, the prince is  _so_ captivated by the knight's  _charming_ good looks.." I laugh again, pulling his hand to my face to kiss the top of it. "..that he accidentally kisses him. And everyone sees. And now they're thinking..  _shit._ The king is confused, and the knight's friends are worried. And they're surrounded by this negative energy, for a while, and it scares them.

But they don't stop being in love. Because why would they? Now they get to be in love in public, even if nobody wants to see it. And it's not like anyone's going to stop the king's son from being in love, or the deadliest knight in the entire town, right? So eventually, everyone gets used to it. And they think it's okay. Because really, it's just two boys who are in love, despite what they go through, despite what others think, despite the  _universe_ saying their love story is fucked up. And that love story is unlike the rest."

"I think it's a cute love story," I murmur, sitting up to kiss Skylar. He kisses me back, and I smile into it. I run my fingers through his hair, and he rests his hands on my hips, before his fingers trace up and down back, underneath my shirt. When we part, he wraps me up in a hug, and I hug him back. "You'd be a great storyteller, baby. You should look into that."

"Maybe," He chuckles, kissing my forehead. "Just maybe."

When I pull away to look at him, my heart skips a beat. The room is dark, and I can barely see him, but he's still gorgeous. There's really only one thought in my mind, right now, and it's got no problem making itself known.

This man before me has a  _future._

And I'm not in it.

 

**one day**

 

Skylar Reed is the most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes upon.

His head rests in my lap, as I lay on this blanket, in the middle of the forest. My lungs burn, and my head aches, and my throat stings, and the pain is overwhelming. He's fast asleep, though, so I'm not going to bother even trying to move.

It's 11:02 am.

I could be dead twenty-four hours from now.

I will never, ever be able to hold Skylar's hand in mine again, to hold him against my chest, to kiss him gently, to run my fingers through his hair, to love him.

I can't love him when I'm dead.

There are tears streaming down my face, but no noises are being made. I can't sob, because I can't wake Skylar up.

I'm going to die.

I don't want to fucking die.

Fuck.

It's not fair.

It's not fucking fair.

"Baby, c'mere, I got you."

I look up to see Skylar, with his arms outstretched. I sit up and fall into his arms, and when he kisses the top of my head, I break down. I sob, and he rubs my back, pressing kisses to my skin every so often. "Cry, angel. Pour it out. I'm here, love, I'm right here for you."

"It's not fair," I stumble over my words, my head pounding as I continue to cry. "It's so fucking unfair. I don't want to die, Skylar. I'm so fucking scared."

"I'm so sorry, John," He whispers, and I can tell he's about to cry. "I'm sorry, baby."

I cry for a long time. I don't know how long. Skylar comforts me the entire time, holding me, and kissing me, and loving me. Eventually, I am calm again. I pull away from him, and hug my knees to my chest, gazing down at the ground with a frown on my lips. I glance at the notebook that Skylar brought, for me to write something in, and I reach over, grabbing it as well as the pen. I instantly start writing.

 

 **_love story unlike the rest._ **  
**_i love you, skylar._ **  
**_xo_ **

 

"I'm sorry if that's too much," I sniffle, handing the notebook to him. "You can always choose which one." He smiles, and kisses my forehead.

"It's not too much, baby. Thank you."

"It's too bad I won't be able to see it," I mumble. "Where are you going to get it tattooed?"

"Probably on my forearm," Skylar says, reaching over to mess with my hair. I swat at his hand, and he chuckles. "That way I can see it easily."

"Cool," I say, then pull him into a kiss. Once we part, I run my fingers through my hair, glancing at Skylar as he opens up the basket. He tosses a juice box at me, and I hurry to catch it, laughing a little.

"Excellent reflexes," He chuckles, and I open the juice box, then point it at him.

"I will not hesitate to squirt this all over your sorry ass."

"I was complimenting you!" He throws his hands up in defense, and I laugh.

"Yeah, sure," I nod, taking a sip of it. "This is actually.. really good."

"Well, this is probably better," Skylar smiles, and then pulls out a bottle of wine.

"Skylar!?" My eyes widen as I gaze at him. "Where did you- how did- Skylar!"

"You mean to tell me you're not going to drink in your life, ever?" He shakes his head, and leans back as he opens the wine bottle. I watch him with an unimpressed gaze. "It's not like I'm planning on getting us drunk. Oh no, a little bit of wine. Boo hoo. Don't be a pussy, baby, c'mon." He grabs a mug from the basket and pours some of the wine in it, then hands it to me. I look at it, and then burst into laughter when I read what's on it.

"B-Best Baseball Mom!?" I snort, and he blushes, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I figured the glasses would break.. so I grabbed the first mugs I saw at the dollar store."

"Did you at least clean them?" I ask, looking into the mug with disdain, and he nods.

"I'm not stupid," He chuckles, and I raise an eyebrow, sending him a doubtful look. "Hey!"

I laugh, leaning over to kiss his nose. "I'm joking, baby."

He sticks his tongue out at me, and I immediately grab my juice box, squirting it at him. He squeaks and moves, barely dodging it. "Asshole!"

I laugh, and then laugh even more as he starts tickling me. "No! Skylar, baby, I'm sorry! I take it all back! Stop, please!"

"You're such a little shit, y'know that?" He laughs, and eventually stops tickling me, kissing my forehead. I sigh, trying to catch my breath.

He hands me the mug, and I hum, then take a little sip of it. It didn't taste bad at all, so I take another sip, then put it down. He glances at me, and pushes his glasses up a bit. We had woken up late this morning, so he hadn't had time to put his contacts in. His hair is still a little messy, too. He looks fucking gorgeous. "You are the most attractive nerd on this planet, Sky," I murmur, and he blushes, but crosses his arms over his chest.

"I'm not a nerd."

"You're wearing glasses," I coo, tilting his chin up with a single finger. "You are absolutely a nerd."

He grins, then kisses me.

After we part again, he pulls the rest of the stuff out of the picnic basket. He hands me a plate, and I instantly grab a little sandwich. I take a bite from it, and let out a moan, which emits laughter from Sky. "God, this is so fucking good," I say, and he keeps giggling.

"I can tell," Skylar says, and I smile, sipping my wine again. Skylar leans over and kisses my cheek, and I blush. "You're so fucking cute," He smiles, and I pull my hood over my face, then tighten it so it covers my face. He laughs, "Baby, c'mon, don't hide your adorable self from me."

My lips are the only thing that's not protected from my hood, so I pucker them up, laughing a little as he kisses them. When we part, I laugh louder, falling against his chest as he undoes my hood. "You're such a weirdo," He chuckles, and I sigh, rubbing my eyes to rid them of their tears.

"But I'm your weirdo," I smile, and he nods.

"And I'm glad you are."

 

•

 

"I'm gonna miss the stars," I say, staring at the night sky. Skylar runs his fingers through my hair,

"I would, too."

"I wonder how many stars there are? Like, in the entire universe, y'know?"

"At least three."

I giggle, "Well, shit. You may be onto something."

He smiles, and kisses my temple. "I'm a genius."

"You really are. Hey, babe?"

"Yeah, beautiful?"

"I love you. Please, never, ever forget that."

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Good. You always keep your promises. I wish I could keep promises as good as you do."

"Well, there's one promise you better keep."

"The one about what comes after?"

"Yeah."

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten."

"Please don't forget."

"Well, if I'm dead, I don't know-"

"If you have the ability to forget when you're dead, please don't forget  _that._ "

"Okay."

"You'll wait for me, right?"

"Of course."

"Can you promise? Again? Please?"

"I promise."

"Thank you. I love you, Johnathan."

"I love you too, Skylar. I always will."

I promise.

 

**zero days**

 

"A lovely little world," Skylar cries, running his fingers through my hair, "was my world with you in it. I love you, baby."

I curl my fingers into fists as another wave of pain washes over me. "I love you too," I groan, whimpering in pain. He kisses my forehead, and I still can't calm down. "What t-time is it?"

"7:03 pm."

"Fuck, I can't breathe in here." I moan in pain again, and suddenly I'm in Skylar's arms. I shut my eyes as he carries me, opening them again when I hear the door open. We're outside. He sits down on the grass, and rubs my cheek with his thumb.

"Better?" He sniffles, and I nod. I'm so tired. I want to sleep. But I don't want to die. I shouldn't bother fighting, though. It's inevitable.

I am going to die.

I take a deep breath as I become overwhelmed with another wave of pain. He kisses my nose, and I groan. "It hurts, Skylar," I mumble, and he frowns.

"I know it does, baby, I'm sorry. It'll be over soon," He whispers, and he's crying again, because of his own words.

I start coughing, and he sits me up, rubbing my back. When I can breathe again, he lays me down once more, and I can feel my eyes growing heavy.

"What do you think it'll be like?" I ask, and then I feel him kiss the top of my head.

"I don't know," He murmurs, "but I hope you're finally happy there."

"Oh, Skylar," I whisper, "I was happy here."

My eyes are so heavy. It's so hard to keep them open. I can see a vignette forming over everything. Another wave of pain washes over me, and I groan. "I know you were, John," He says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I know."

"I think it's happening," I whimper, and my hand fumbles to find his face. "Sky, look at me, please." My eyes want nothing more but to shut, but I need to see his eyes. Just one more time. I fight, and I open them wide. Skylar's eyes meet mine, and I smile. His gorgeous fucking eyes. Those colors- brown, gold, and green- had quickly become my favorite. "Your eyes are so pretty, baby," I smile, and when my lungs tighten, I can't keep my eyes open anymore.

"I love you," I whisper, and I soon feel his lips on mine, in a gentle, caring kiss.

It's the worst kiss of my life.

Because it's the last one I'll ever have.

I kiss him back, although even that is hard, and I try to tell him everything. How he can't let my death hurt him. How he needs to move on. How I love him. How he better not forget me. How he's going to do so many great things, as long as he keeps pushing forward.

We part, and he holds my hand. "I love you, Johnathan." I can feel his tears, as they fall onto me. I don't mind.

"I love you too, Skylar," I whisper, and I manage to get my eyes open one more time. He's staring at me, and he's so sad, but fucking hell, he's beautiful. I love him so much. "Remember, baby, this love story.." I cough, and I can't talk.

"It's quite unlike the rest," He finishes for me, and I smile as he kisses my forehead. I know my eyes are open, but I can't see him anymore. I can't see anything anymore. Everything's completely dark.

"I love you."

And he says something, but I don't know what he says.

I can't hear.

I can't really do anything.

I'm gone.

 

**one week later**

 

Johnathan Kyle did not deserve to die.

And I, Skylar Reed, certainly did not deserve to live.

They found the cure.

They used his body, and in three days, they realized how to get rid of the disease.

They gave me the cure.

I didn't want it.

I didn't deserve it.

How cruel the universe is. How absolutely fucking wicked.

I got the tattoo the day after John died.

My tattoo is still sore, but it's nice to look at. It's comforting. Apart from the fact I cry every time my eyes land on it.

As I unlock the door to John's home, I am overwhelmed with a sense of familiarity. But the house is dark, and cold, and it is a shell of what used to be. Just like I am.

I close the door behind me, and I trudge up the steps, heading upstairs. I push the door to John's room open, and walk to his closet. I open it up, and my eyes land on the safe. I bend down, and gaze at the keypad. I type the key.

**7 - 4 1 25 19**

"Seven days."

I hit enter, and watch as the door springs open. I pick up the notebook, and walk to the bathroom, shutting the door. I open the cabinet, and pull out a bottle of pills, then uncap it and rest it on the counter.

I open the notebook.

 

_skylar,_

_if you're reading this, it means i'm dead._

_sorry._

_i wish i hadn't died._

_i probably miss you a lot._

_i'm sure you miss me even more._

_i know you._

_don't do anything stupid, skylar._

_please._

 

I chuckle.

I'm the boy who battles his mind.

How am I not meant to do anything stupid?

_i love you, skylar._

_i love you so fucking much._

_this story isn't really a story, per say._

_it's a journal._

_every day, last year, i wrote._

_i fell in love with you harder than i was in love with you before last year._

_i wanted to document it, in case you loved me back._

_if you're reading this, you did._

_thanks for being in love with me._

 

I flip the page.

 

_there are over 365 pages for you to read._

_some days i wrote very little_

_but other days i wrote far too much._

_i hope this helps a little._

_i love you, skylar._

 

My eyes glance towards the bottom of the page, where there is a note in incredibly messy handwriting.

 

_UPDATE: we started dating. i'm so in love with you. remember, skylar, our love story is unlike the rest, baby. but it's worth telling._

 

I flip the page, and realize it starts on day one.

I sit down.

I'm going to be reading for a while.  
  


**two years later**  
  


Well, Johnathan.

You said I'd be a great storyteller.

And I was.

I published a book. About us. About our story.

People loved it.

I pick up the bottle of pills, and I uncap it.

I pour them into my hand.

John, I kept all of my promises, growing up.

I can't keep battling my mind anymore.

I swallow the pills, and I sit down.

Please tell me something, Johnathan.

Tell me you kept your only promise.

 


End file.
